COVID-19: The Oxytocin Drainer
A lack of the simple ability to touch is influencing us. Here’s why.
Feeling a little stressed (a lot) at the moment trying to work from home with the kids being home-schooled or because you’re out of work and wondering how you will pay for rent?
Well, it’s not just the obvious hard-hitting facts of a world turned upside down thanks to COVID-19 that is causing this, although these are the baseline for why we may not be as happy as we might otherwise be.
This was brought home for me recently when listening to a BBC World News Podcast (highly recommended way to start your day) during a great interview with Professor Arthur Brooks from the Harvard Business School.
In the interview, Brooks brought up the salient point about how social distancing and increased isolation because of COVID-19 has had a simple but damaging effect on happiness.
When people talk about brain chemistry and happiness, it’s good old endorphins that seem to first come to mind, and then serotonin. This is maybe because chatter about these brain chemicals featured so heavily in the ’80s and ’90s as the “love drug”, ecstasy, gripped the recreational-drug taking world, and happy clubbers got themselves pinged on “eccies”, which I’m sure this emoji — 😍 — was initially conceived for.
The thing often left out of this discussion was that serotonin — the brain chemical that manages our moods — kicks into gear a gland that releases what has become fondly known as “the love hormone”, Oxytocin.
Oxy, not to be confused with the pain-relief pharmaceutical OxyContin, is super important for childbirth, breastfeeding and the initial parent-child bonding, with studies also showing how important it is for early childhood development.
Aptly called “the cuddle hormone”, it’s also believed that Oxy can promote trust, empathy and bonding in relationships, with levels increasing as we engage in acts of physical affection like kissing, cuddling and sex.
And so, over the past 6–8 weeks our mood levels might have taken a serious dip with no way of getting that Oxy flowing, particularly for those who live alone and are now without even simple interactions such as a handshake or hug when meeting friends or workmates, let alone much more intimate physical interactions such as sexy time.
After listening to the BBC pod, I did a check-in and realised it had been about five weeks since I’d last had a social interaction with a friend. A dear mate and I had one of our regular breakfast catch-ups, did a lot of talking and dissecting of the world, and had parted with a warm embrace and kiss, one that I now cherish as my last bit of serious human contact.
But am I feeling down?
Are depressed Oxy levels a problem?
For me, luckily, I think not.
Being an only child and something of an introvert, while I love social interactions and catch-ups with friends, I’m also solid in my own company and have spent long periods of time travelling solo without too much human touch interaction and the accompanying Oxy kick…OK, sprung, maybe these periods were broken up by the odd cheeky Tindr travel hook-up along the way — so sue me already.
all of us can do our bit to battle the Oxy drain
On the flip side, those living with mental health stuff are probably doing it super tough so if you live with someone who is battling this, a lot of extra hug action might help ease some of their additional mental stresses brought about by COVID-19.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t LOVE a hug right now, hell to the yes! It will be one of the first things I do when we reach a place of social distancing being eased off to allow us to catch up with our nearest and dearest.
Nor am I in any way claiming to be a health professional or psych, so if you’re feeling psychologically challenged because of COVID-19, seek professional advice.
And do it early, not later.
But all of us can do our bit to battle the Oxy drain. The logical type I am senses that reaching out to mates and family a little more at the moment through whatever comms tools are at your disposal — whether that’s ZOOM or Facetime or even just phone calls or text messaging — while no substitute for actual touch, might help just a little as this clear intention of connecting to someone and showing you are thinking of them might be an Oxy placebo for the real thing.
Until the return of the hugs, stay HAPPY…as happy as you can.
If anything in this piece has raised concerns, reach out to your local mental health service (such as Beyond Blue, in Australia) for further help. You need not feel alone.
